


Shimmer of green

by kingster



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Violence, Dragons, Ficlet, Graphic Description, Implied Relationships, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Sex between the wrong people sorry, Stream of Consciousness, magical thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:10:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4865990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingster/pseuds/kingster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rewritten. Hannibal's last seconds on this earth is occupied with life flashing in front of his eyes, and a green beast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shimmer of green

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for pretty much the entire season 3!  
> \---  
> Lets just call it a fix-it.

As Doctor Hannibal Lecter falls to his certain death, wind roaring in his ears, the distinct taste of metal in his mouth, he is surprised to discover that his life flashes before his eyes. He has believed the phenomenon to belong in fiction. Alternatively, he has thought it to be an experience reserved for weak people: the ones too scared to see the beauty of the moment they're about to experience. He can see now that he has been mistaken. He is certainly not one of them.  
   
There are many moments in Hannibal's life he would love to revisit. Streets he would walk. People he would meet. Meals he would consume. Instruments he would like play. There are even bad parts of his life he would like to relive, if only to review them from a different perspective.  
  
But, as the expression goes, the memories really does come in flashes, and seemingly outside his control. They appear in front of him like short movies, complete with sensory imagery, but they disappear as fast as they show up. And as the images start playing, it becomes clear that it's not a balanced  portrayal. Because, yes, Will Graham has been a central figure in Hannibal's life the last few years (and his rapidly approaching death), but the amount of space he occupies in Hannibal's last flashes - well, it's excessive.  
  
One of Hannibal's early thoughts on Will Graham, is that he has a potential. He doesn't think he's attractive at first, mostly cause he dresses poorly and Hannibal misjudges that as a sign of weak character. That leads him to think about how Will would look naked -  and what the implications might be. The image flicks him off course for a short second, and Will, that  coincidentally is in the room with him at the time, in session, stops talking and looks at him. Dr. Lecter, he says, a strange tone in his voice, what are you thinking about right now? I'm thinking about you, Hannibal answers truthfully. The look in Wills eyes reminds him about Abigail. She's scared of him, but she still loves him unconditionally. It's a rare quality.  
  
Mischa loves him too. She's four years old and the Lithuanian Aukštaitija is green and lush. Her hand is small in his, her fingers dirty. She's been picking flowers and they smell mostly like grass, but they're yellow, and she's happy. He is still not entirely Hannibal yet. Sometimes he is a boy who sees Hannibal grow inside him and wonders where this is going to end. The others don't know.    
  
Chiyoh is the first one he tells. Chiyoh, who later pushes Will of  train for him. Hannibal is impressed by that, so much he feels warm when Wills tells him about it. Or it might just be because he gets to be close to both Will and Botticelli's Primavera at the same time. He has thought about taking Will here, but having Will just show up all by himself, beaten and raw but and even  more predatory than before, it's a lot to take in. And Will takes being thrown off a train so well, Hannibal is impressed by him too. Others would be offended. They have a nice conversation together and Hannibal tastes Chiyoh's name on his tongue. He loves her in a very special way.  
  
It's the completely opposite of how he feels about Alana. She looks wonderful in his bed and he appreciates her milky-white skin, but her almost too manipulatable brain sometimes lets him down. Still, she good company for dinner, and he likes that she reminds him about someone. The first and only girl that he has sex with him in a way that makes him forget everything else. Even his most violent thoughts. He can't pinpoint what the link is between the two women, but seeing how different they behave, it's probably a visual feature.

She's the cousin of a friend and he doesn't really know her, but they spend time together in a dirty kitchen that stinks of pig-meat and candle wax. She plays sweet when they're with the others, but the second they're alone she turns wild-eyed and crude. She calls him names, bites him and pinches him. He's not really scared of her since she's smaller than him, but he's  strange combination of appalled and excited. When he comes to early she makes him sit on the floor and pleasure her until she orgasms. He's completely lost the entire time, even it's not very pleasant. Afterward he concludes that it must have been her rawness that allowed him to be released from himself like that.  
  
That leads him to a string of short-lived relationships with men, some of them too strong, too drunk and too self-hating for Hannibal's own good. It's when he discovers for the first time the correlation between love and his cannibalism: he kills one of the men, but is reluctant to eat him, he hates him too much. He later overcomes this, and the image of this man is always in his head as he eats the first bite of someone he dislikes. It's a strange kind of honor.  
  
The smell of blood overwhelms him ever so often. It's always a pleasure.  
  
In Florence he finds the first person he wants to be like. He introduces true decadence to Hannibal's life, and Hannibal never looks back. Despite they spend a lot of time together, the glimpses are short and quick. Arabesque wallpaper under Hannibal's fingertips. A violet Egyptian cotton shirt against the skin that reminds Hannibal of olives. The smell of musk. Pain so intense that he has to believe that he will never experience it again.  
  
Bedelia sees him once, as the sorrow of one of these memories strike him in Florence. She doesn't say anything, just tenderly brushes away hair from his temple.  
  
It's the only other person he looses himself in, but he's incomparable to Will. Sometimes he thinks he sees traces of him in Jack. Maybe in the way he knows how to carry the clothes he wears.  
  
He always appreciates Jack's company, dispite his numerous attempts to kill Hannibal. He respects him. That why he gives him back Bella, who by the way, is also lovely. He likes their sessions. She's clever, well-spoken and honest. Unafraid. Hannibal suspects that if they had spent more time together, she might have seen him. She gets a glimpse one time when she asks about Will. What about Will. Have you slept with him? They way she says it gives away that she knows the answer, but wants him to talk about it.  
  
No.  
  
No, he has not.  
  
But needlessly to say, he has thought about it. And, strangely, he has thought a lot about showering with him. Not in Will's shower in Will's cabin, rest assured Hannibal would never shower there, but it his own shower. The idea of washing Will with his hands almost makes him lose composure. Imagining sex with Will sometimes makes him uncomfortable. Hannibal fears he might have given up some part of himself that he'd regret giving away. They could have been equals.  
  
They could have lived in that apartment in Florence with Abigail. She would have been happy there. Will too. Bedelia could come for dinner sometimes. It could be that kind of party. On second thought, no, it couldn't. Hannibal wouldn't share Will.  It pains Hannibal to think about the joy Will has deprived them of. Even Mischa could have visited them. She grew up beautiful. He's certain about that.  
  
So no, he hasn't' had sex with Will. But they've made food together. And they have fought, and bled, and killed together. A  big, red dragon. And Will has given in to the beast that may or may not have been there before he met Hannibal, and finally manged to see the wavelength that completes the spectrum of beauty in Hannibal's life. The feeling is unprecedented. The way Will uttered his last words leaves Hannibal no doubt that he has truly understood.    
  
The flashing movie of Hannibal's saturated life abruptly comes to an end and he's surprised to feel that Will's fingers clutches his own. He's overcome by the feeling of sadness, not for his life to end, but for Will's, and he squeezes the hand back.  
  
As his body smashes against the unyielding rocks, he sees a large, black shadow over him. He's pulled under water by the strong current, but struggles himself up again to see. Will is no longer in his grip. Hannibal must have broken his back, because he can't no longer can't feel the lower part of his body, but he manages one last effort to get his head above water.  
  
Then he sees it again. Even in the dark, the big wings shimmer in nuances of green. It's so beautiful, it makes Hannibal cringe.  
  
When the magnificent dragon flies away, a loud roar escaping its mouth, happiness spreads throughout Hannibal. He lets himself go, knowing he will rest easy on the ocean floor alone.  
  
\---


End file.
